Eroticon day two started with a session on Polyamory run by two women who are in a relationship with a man they both love (but are not sexually involved with each other, although they are good friends). It was a fascinating insight into their lives, although I took their point that there are various types of non-monogamous relationship which include people called ‘swingers’ who are still emotionally faithful to each other.
In the next session entitled ‘Getting the language of sex right’ we were put into groups and each group had to look at a different issue – ours was how people with disabilities were viewed in porn and all of us agreed that the people we see in porn are usually white, young, fit, fairly good goodlooking without a single disability!
In ‘Storytelling and sex’ the panel, which included sex educators, asked us writers to include healthy and positive sex messages in our stories. When we recalled our own sex education classes at school we all agreed that it was too shor, with little information about sexuality, just covering how to avoid getting pregnant or getting SDIs.
The BDSM tools of the trade was my favourite session of the day. The lovely Molly and Michael (a sub and Dom, also husband and wife) brought in tons of implements they use. The ones I were intrigued by were the ones I hadn’t come across before – such as an iron rod. When used to roll over the skin after a flogging the cold metal on the hot skin causes an intense sensation. Similarly, a vampire glove which had little spikes or pins through the palm can be used to give a pin pricky sensation akin to running your nails over a person’s skin.
A good point was made that you don’t have to spend a lot of money, but be careful when using homemade implements that they are up to the job. But some items you can just find around the house. A hairbrush can be used for paddling – and the brush side for sensation play – and at the end of the day you can happily leave it lying around with no consequences if anyone else in the household finds it!
Sex and the Media session warned writers if you are being interviewed you might not have the final say about what goes into the article, eg, the journalist might want to show both sides of an argument and come up with reasons not to buy your book!!
The closing plenary came to us over skype (or similar) from the US and the comment she made that I thought was great was that ‘there is a power to reading and writing about sex that cannot be captured in the visual, eg, emotions, descriptions of sensations, journey to that moment, etc.’
Many thanks to the organisers for another great conference. It was super to meet so many people including Jacqui Brocker and Alice Dryden in the photo with me below.
Look forward to seeing you all again next year.