Friday Funny

One day, John decided to invite over his mother for dinner with him and his roommate, Julie. Julie made a great dinner, but John's mother started to suspect more than friendship. The next day, Julie told John that the soup ladle was missing.

This is the letter he wrote to his mother:

Dear Ma,
I'm not saying you did take the soup ladle, but I'm not saying you didn't. But the fact remains, It's missing.
Love,
John

This was her response...

Dear John,
I'm not saying you did sleep with Julie, But I'm not saying you didn't. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found it by now.
Love,
Mom

Have a nice weekend, Jen

Wednesday Writing - My Next Big Thing

When Janine Ashbless asked if I would like to take party in The Next Big Thing I said yes since I have just submitted my latest story and it gives me an ideal opportunity to tell you about it! (And in fact since I first composed this blog the story has now been accepted by Siren Publishing in the last ten hours, due for release in February!!)

So here are some details:

What is the working title of your book?

Collared by Wolves

Where did the idea come from for the book?

It is purely mercenary as it occurred to me that werewolf books sell well as do BDSM as do ménage so this is a combination of all three!

Natasha Talbot, an ordinary human wanting more out of life, ventures into a forest where a club is holding submissive trials, not knowing this is where werewolves practice BDSM.

While at the club Natasha is fought over by two lots of men. Griff Seamer is an alpha werewolf with a reputation for being a rogue. He doesn’t hesitate taking on Ford Chaplin, Max Holman and Callum Lane, three beta wolves who formed a pack as a way of getting the submissive women at the club who normally prefer the alpha men.

During the fight Natasha becomes aware of their shifter natures and runs away. But is she more frightened by the BDSM or their animal aspects? Determined to try again she returns a few nights later, but when she is kidnapped by a pack who like the darker side of BDSM her four men realize they have to work together to rescue her. 

I like have always enjoyed, in my werewolf stories, exploring the animal sides of werewolves and how it conflicts with their human selves. It was fun, therefore, to add a pure human into the mix and show how she reacts, particularly when even BDSM is so far outside of her experience in life so far.

What genre does your book fall under?

As above.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Hmmm, well, for the heroine someone like Kerry Condon who was in 'Rome'

For the alpha wolf this picture of Manu Bennett looks just right (all pics

are from IMDB website)

For the three betas in order: Nick Haden from 'Meet the Spartans' to be Ford although his hair would have to be darker, followed by Nick Tarabay to be Max and Travis Van Winkle from 'Meet the Spartans' to be Callum - but he's need to have his nose broken at the very least he is too handsome!!

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Agency

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Four months which is a long time for me but edits for other books got in the way as did holidays and other things!

 

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

‘The Last Werewolf’ which was my first ever werewolf story I wrote with fellow writer, Susan Laine, and that one was a ménage too. But fans of my BDSM stories, like ‘Submissive Training’ might enjoy this one as well since it is also about someone new to BDSM.

 

Who or What inspired you to write this book? 

My first erotic romance was a werewolf story - ‘Shared by Wolves’ by Rena Marks, and this remains my favourite erotic romance to date!

 

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

It is intended to be the first of a series of stories set in a werewolf BDSM club called The Haunt – and werewolf BDSM is slightly different in some ways from human BDSM……

The following writers are doing 'Their Next Big Thing over the next week so check them out.

Jan Bowles http://janbowles.blogspot.co.uk/

Susan Laine http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5221828.Susan_Laine/blog

Tatum Throne  http://tatumthrone.blogspot.co.uk/

Inspirational Mondays

Okay readers, I need help. I have submitted my latest story (more about that on Weds) – the first in a new series set around a werewolf BDSM club! And I have no idea what to do next so you get the chance to help me decide.

Here are your options. Let me know which you would like me to work on next and the one that gets the most votes I promise to do next!! Voting ends by 31 November.

a)    A Champagne Friday reunion – this brings together all the characters from the Friends and Doms series ten years on and how life isn’t what they expected. This story shows how the women make a pact to recreate the things that made them fall in love in the first place.

b)    Sci-fi alien abduction comedy – I haven’t got a title for this one yet but it is what happens if the woman being abducted is an older feisty woman who doesn’t give into the demands of the alien insisting she be his mate that easily!

c)    Retraining the Dom – the sequel to Retraining the Sub which will be about Master Trey. Although no ideas for what will happen and how he will get retrained!!

d)    The next in the Duoterra series – no title but it will be about Kara who appears in Chasing Emily, the woman who ran away from the brothel and who hates men!

e)    The next in the Weres of Europe series written with fellow writer Susan Laine – this will probably follow the further adventures of Summer, Levi and Rik – but we will see. Let me know if you would rather it be about different characters.

f)     The next in The Haunt of the Wolves – this one is likely to be purely werewolves and no humans and about Evie.

g)    An FMF story about sisters who fight over the same man! Or I might just make it friends and make it FFM?

h)   Story entitled ‘Submissive Tryouts’. No idea of the story!!

i)     Werewolf series set in Medieval Wales called ‘Werewolf County’ at the moment. I keep putting this one off because of the amount of research I have to do!

Jen

Friday Funny

A young woman married and had 13 children.

Her husband died.

She soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.

But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.

Alas, she finally croaked.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."

In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."

Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."

Have a nice weekend, Jen

Wednesday Writing

The second in the sci-fi series, Duoterra, namely ‘Chasing Emily’ is now available at Amazon  or Barnes and Noble – but you will also be interested to learn that Siren Publishing have brought out a paperback combination of the first two stories in the Duoterra series – ‘Wife for Three’ and ‘Chasing Emily’ also available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

To remind you – Duoterra is a colony planet and the stories are set some sixty years after colonists have landed when the original resources have run out and they have to make, sew, reap, grow to keep themselves alive. But there are few women on this planet to due death in childbirth, disease and injury so women have become something of a commodity and a law has been passed that all unmarried women have to take out a marriage contract with one or more men.

In Wife for Three Brianna runs away from her uncle who plans to sell her off to someone she dislikes and answers an advert for a ‘wife for three brothers’. Is she jumping out of the frying pan into the fire?

In Chasing Emily, the heroine of the title is an older feisty woman who enjoys sexual dalliances with the young men of the area but when caught she is told she must marry which upsets one of her young men and she decides the only thing to do it is flee town.

Jen

Inspirational Mondays - milestones

You might remember me talking about milestones in the past and how they inspire you on and I was delighted when I passed the 1,000 book sale mark!

I can now report, thanks to all of you, I have now passed not only the 5,000 book mark but the 7,500 book mark! And if Amazon sales go the way I expect them to next royalty day I will have surpassed the 10,000 book milestone!!

As a thank you to my readers I will be doing a free read on my blog as a Christmas pressie, sometime in mid-December. It is entitled ‘The Wicked Angel and the BDSM Club’ and is about what happens when a Christmas Angel who is less than angelic attends a BDSM club……

Jen

Friday Funny

Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!"

And so they did.

As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!"

And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!"

Have a nice weekend, Jen

Wednesday Writing

Pop over to Delphina’s blog to see a joint post I wrote with my co-author, Susan Laine, about ‘The Last Werewolf’ and Delphina’s review of the book. http://www.delphinareadstoomuch.com/2012/11/the-last-werewolf-by-jennifer-denys-and.html

I was particularly delighted that she picked up on the ‘animal’ aspects stating: ‘It was different because the writers really took into consideration the animal nature of a were. There were subtleties throughout this book that really made it seem more like it was about weres than it was about people who happened to have a magical ability to change once and while.  I really enjoyed that about this book.’

This was great because the animal nature of a shifter is something that fascinates me and we had spent a lot of time researching wolf behaviour and took pains to include it within our story, other than the obvious items like them having fur, fangs and claws, and so had instances where a werewolf had to contend with being on all fours instead of upright and so were disorientated, their sense of smell being more acute, nuzzling another’s face, hackles being raised, scent marking, and so on.

She also said she is keen to see what happens to the main characters after the story finishes. Ah well….. that is likely to be the subject of the sequel! So watch this space.

Jen

Inspirational Mondays

Travelling can be a great way to inspire story ideas:

This is a theatre in Charleston. The story that comes to mind is one character, let’s say, the hero, returning to the place where he was left standing jilted many years before and he just happens to see the same woman coming out of the theatre….

Or maybe when fooling around for the camera having asked a cop to take a photo of her at this fountain in Cincinnati the heroine falls in the water and the cop helps her out….

Or while driving in a strange country (in this case Finland) having got lost the heroine thinks she sees a man turn into a wolf…..

Or while visiting a colonial plantation house in South Carolina the hero sees a face at the window but there is no-one there except the ghost of the house…..

Or the owner of this European villa is angry that a tourist is taking photos of his house but when he confronts her she is the image of his late wife…..

Or when the heroine is kidnapped and tied to a tree as a joke by friends on Halloween she meets up with a demon……

Jen

Friday funny

There was a mouse and an elephant and they decided to go for a walk in the jungle together. So they set off walking and talking and were not really paying attention to where they were going, when all of a sudden the elephant fell in a hole.

"Oh My!" the elephant cried. "What will we do?...I can't climb out on my own".

"Don't worry" said the mouse. I'll just run back into town and get my Porsche and we will have you out of there in no time at all."

So the mouse ran back to town and got her porsche.

When she arrived back at the hole she backed the porsche up to the edge. The mouse then threw the elephant one end of a chain and secured the other end to her bumper.

"Here we go" the mouse yelled to the elephant as she put the Porsche in gear and pulled the elephant out of the hole.

"Thank you, thank you so much my friend!" said the elephant.

"My pleasure" said the mouse "Should we continue on our walk?"

The elephant agreed, but as he turned toward the mouse his trunk accidentally knocked her into the hole.

"Oh my goodness" the elephant wailed, "I'm so so sorry!...Oh, What are we going to do now. I'm too big to fit in your porsche!"

"Not a problem" the mouse responded "Just throw your dick down here" The elephant trusted the mouse so he threw his dick into the hole and the mouse climbed out on it.

Once she was out the elephant and mouse continued on their walk with no further mishaps.

And the moral of the story is... ?

"If you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche!"

Have a nice weekend.

Jen

Wednesday writing - the Friends & Acquaintances and Doms & Acquaintances series

If you wanted to buy any of the books in the ‘Friends & Acquaintances’ or ‘Doms & Acquaintances’ series you can now buy the complete series in paperback, available from Amazon.com/ Amazon.co.uk/ or Barnes & Noble!

Just to remind you of these series, they are about a group of six women who all fall in love with someone they already know. The characters (and the stories) cross-over from one series to the other:

Friends & Acquaintances are more romantic comedies with light BDSM and analyse the world of erotic romance. Just Good Friends is what happens when Sam accidentally discovers his best friend, Jessie’s, secret stash of erotic romances and how he persuades her to try out some of the scenes. Friendly Seduction follows writer, Matt, who, when told to include more sex in his novels, enlists the help of Lissa and he finds himself inventing scenes for his new book to seduce her. Friend or Foe has Dan discovering his colleague, Gina, is a secret writer of erotic romance and teases her unmercifully, but ends up helping her with the tribulations of getting her first book published.

Doms & Acquaintances are about beginners discovering the world BDSM. The Submission Challenge has Jon challenging independent Rebecca to be his submissive for 24 hours. Submissive Training follows Kat when she goes to a beginners’ BDSM conference only to discover the man she is attracted to, Ben, is one of the trainers there. The Sub Who Switched is about the last of the girls, Ellie, who desperately wants a Dom of her own but the man in love with her, Nick, is a shy, gentle soul. Can he change his nature to become what she wants?

If you have read some of the books and are confused by the relationships here is something to help you!

Friends - Jessie, Lissa, Gina/Sam, Matt, Dan

Gina and Matt are cousins

Gina and Lissa are flatmates

Gina and Dan work together

Sam and Matt are best friends

Doms - Rebecca, Kat, Ellie/Jon, Ben, Nick

Rebecca and Kat are sisters

Jon and Ellie are brother and sister

Rebecca and Ellie work together but Nick also works with them from time to time

Jon and Ben are best friends

Hope that helps!

Jen

Monthly Inspirational Author Interview

My inspirational author for November is Lori King, who, like many of us writers, has been writing since she was a kid and like myself, has tried other medium such as plays (one of my earliest attempts at a play was called ‘Roberta Hood and her Merry Ladies’!). Now, similarly, she is working on werewolf stories. I love how feisty her heroine sounds! So over to you Lori:

Thanks, Jen. I work full-time in the financial industry (aka banking). I’m a mom of three boys, a wife, a kids taxi service, PTO secretary, and an erotic romance author! I’m always busy, and I love it. I even thrive on it. J I’ve been writing since I was old enough to hold a pencil, and I’ve had poetry, essays, a play, and now two books published. I write between the hours of awake and asleep, and I write what I like to read.

Tell us about your latest book.  I just released Reflections of the Wolf in October. This is the second book in The Gray Pack series. It is about a werewolf named Liam Gray, and the woman destined to be his mate Tina Jameson.  Liam is a loud and proud playboy that is brought to his knees by the feisty, sassy Tina, and forced to show his sensitive side in order to win her heart. Tina was the victim of a senseless act of violence in her past that has caused her to swear off of men, so when Liam announces to her that she will be his mate and that they will live Happily Ever After, she runs away…fast. Add in Liam’s own grief over the death of his young daughter and ex-wife, and a psychotic coworker, and you have major werewolf drama!  (See excerpt below)

What makes a great hero?  In my mind this is different for each book, but some of the basics stay the same. He has to be confident in himself, tough on the outside, a little softer on the inside, and have intense protective instincts.  I think that he has to fall so deeply in love with his heroine that he is willing to sacrifice himself for her. That’s what I like in a hero.

Is there any trivia about your latest/forthcoming story that you can share with us (eg, the name of a real life pet that you used in the story)? The character Tina is actually loosely based on a good friend of mine who is feisty and has more attitude in her petite body than should be legal!

What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done? Definitely clicking SUBMIT on my first book Fire of the Wolf. Sending that manuscript in was a lifelong dream that I just knew was unobtainable. I pushed through it and sent the book, only to have them respond with a contract in less than two weeks. It’s been a whirlwind learning the publishing biz since then, but it’s been a kick ass journey.

Who did you dedicate your first book to? I wrote a special dedication to my family members, you can read it on my blog here: http://lorikingbooks.wordpress.com/2012/07/31/in-the-spotlight-new-feature-for-the-blog/

How can you fans find you on the internet?  You can follow my blog to keep up with snippets and teases from the books I’m working on as well as when my new books are releasing www.lorikingbooks.wordpress.com  follow me on Facebook for daily updates about my chaotic world, https://www.facebook.com/Lori.King.Author or you can click the Notify me of Lori King’s new releases on http://www.bookstrand.com/lori-king and Siren will email you as soon as a book is available for preorder!

Excerpt:

 

“She’s okay, Liam. She’s just exhausted and overwhelmed. Give her some breathing room.” Tina could hear another man’s voice talking to Liam, but she couldn’t seem to make her eyes open to see who it was.

“Why did she pass out then?” Liam’s voice was annoyed, and she thought she heard him growl a bit. Damn that was sexy.

“Who knows why women faint? What were you guys talking about?” A third masculine voice spoke.

“Shit.” Liam muttered. “I told her she was my mate. I didn’t mean to scare her.”

Tina could just imagine the look on Liam’s face right now. She understood that Caroline believed in this whole mating thing, and that was fine for her life, but Tina wasn’t interested in a serious relationship. She had lived through her share of heartache when it came to men, and the pain just wasn’t worth it anymore.

She took a deep breath and forced her eyes open a crack. Instantly Liam and two other men were leaning over her. What the hell did they feed these men? They were enormous and gorgeous!

“Oh my God, I’ve died and gone to single women’s heaven,” she said, moaning and then blushing when the two new men laughed, and Liam frowned. “Who are you guys?”

“Hey, Sweet Tina, nice and easy now. How are you feeling?” Liam’s eyes held compassion, concern, and a glimmer of apprehension. A gentle tug of desire shot through her body at his soft endearment. He helped her sit up, scooting to sit behind her to brace her back against his chest. She was now between his outstretched thighs with her head tucked just under his chin and his arms around her protectively.

“Like a werewolf beat the shit out of me,” she grumbled, and all three men laughed. She felt Liam relax against her a little bit. He rested his hands on her flat tummy, and his thumbs rubbed tiny circle patterns through the T-shirt she wore. She could feel sparks shoot across her skin, and she grimaced in her mind. Her body sure wanted a relationship with him.

“Good. I was afraid you were just going to say fine or something silly like that.” His amusement rippled through her, making her smile.

“Hi, Tina. I’m Rafe Whetstone. This is my brother Ryley.” He indicated the beautiful godlike creature standing next to him. “We were quite impressed with your show of bravery in there, but you better take it easy for a bit. If your back gets worse, Liam will get you to the doctor. You hit that wall really hard when he threw you. And now with you passing out on us like that, it makes me wonder about your head. Is it hurting?” Rafe looked like a Viking warrior with golden-blond hair that was a little shaggy and electric-blue eyes that seemed to assess her in one lazy sweep. She shivered at the look of interest heating his gaze and instinctively pressed backward into Liam. His arms tightened around her possessively.

“Yes, but I took a baseball bat to the back of it a few hours ago, so it’s to be expected. I think my head hurts more now because it’s trying to process all of this…umm…this werewolf love story my best friend is apparently living.” She rubbed her temples trying to ease the ache. Liam’s strong hand moved to the base of her neck and started massaging the tension away. She groaned softly, and Ryley laughed loudly.

“Yeah, well, if Liam has his way, you will be living your own shortly. We have to go talk with Dev and Damon. Take care of your girl, Liam. I wouldn’t want to have to sweep her away from you and make her fall in love with me.” Ryley winked at Tina, and Liam growled a threat.

“Oh, pumpkin, that’s sweet, but I’m just not sure there is a man alive that’s qualified for that job,” she said, smiling sweetly at Ryley as he and the others laughed.

“Oh brother, you’re going to have your hands full with this little spitfire. Good luck!” Ryley teased Liam, and Tina’s eyes narrowed at him.

“He won’t have to worry about me shortly,” she grumbled, but the pressure increased from Liam’s hands, and a low moan escaped her throat. All three men ignored her implied threat, and it grated her nerves.

Ryley really was very sexy. He matched his brother in golden looks, but he kept his hair much longer. It brushed the tops of his shoulders, and his eyes were just a touch lighter than Rafe’s with flecks of green in them. It seemed all of the firemen of Battalion One were flirts with bodies built on Olympus. She would have to see about spending more time with Caroline if this was the company she was keeping.

She watched the two Viking warriors walked away and had to swallow hard at the sight of their tight butts. Wow, maybe I hit my head harder than I thought. She chided herself for drooling over those two men when the one that really scared her was holding her in his arms. Worrying now about what Ryley had said, she fidgeted in Liam’s grip. Liam couldn’t really believe that she was his mate, could he? Goose bumps prickled over her skin when Liam’s kissed the nape of her neck where he had been gently massaging.

“Are they family, too?” she asked Liam curiously.

Liam tensed before replying. “Yes, they are my adopted brothers. You can trust them. Well, you can trust them with your life, but Ryley won’t ever stop trying to get into your pants.”

She laughed out loud and felt a surge of feminine confidence. “I’m sure I will enjoy his attempts.”

Liam growled behind her, and she stilled in his arms. That was definitely a possessive growl if she had ever heard one. Turning to look back over her shoulder with narrowed eyes, she took in his jealous frown and huffed with irritation. After a few moments of glaring at each other in silence, he sighed and relaxed, and she couldn’t help but smile at her victory. She wouldn’t tolerate being told who to spend time with, no matter who it was.

Good luck with the books, Lori. Next month's inspirational author will be Janine Ashbless.

Friday funny

One day God came to Adam for a brief discussion. "I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.

Adam looked thoughtfully at his maker and replied, "Please give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've created two new organs for you. One is called a brain. This organ will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and carry on productive conversations with Eve. The other organ is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your intelligent life form and begin populating the planet. Eve will be very pleased that you are now equipped with this organ as she will be able to conceive children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great and wonderful gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God then looked upon Adam, and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

Have a nice weekend.

Jen